doomed n cool

so school  is good and crazy and i'm trying to project the cher horowitz philosophy of getting what i want more than the lindsay weir / everyone everywhere philosophy of bein moody about everything  (which is hard for me because i'm so used to people pleasing + taking things the way they are while sulking angrily in the corner.)

i honestly love my teachers and the classes i'm taking which makes me feel so grateful that i get this education and i have to make it worth it even though um.... school sux (?)  bc stress and the fact that i don't even know what consistently getting a full night of sleep feels like and i basically live for the weekend while resenting the fact the weekend is here and i still haven't done anything creative or fun.

this year i'm taking a lot of classes that are heavily focused on independent work/research and i'm taking french 2- which is great because learning a language is actually really exciting and it makes me feel all: "wow the world is so alive with people that we actually have millions of ways of communicating cool."

my english teacher is ridiculously kind and constantly talking about our intellectual lives and recommending good books and supporting people and is basically the definition of that really smart chill teacher.

basically i feel like i'm learning a lot and this year's gonna be really good / important for me.

1.

super laid back mainly because this was the first day and the most important thing for me during the entire first week is BEING COMFORTABLE. mentally, you're already pretty disjointed because of all the changes and confusion going on and it's even worse when you have to worry about a belt falling or clothes that need to be readjusted constantly or are too itchy or tight. + comfortable shoes because you have no idea how many stairs you need to walk up and down

shirt \ express
jeans \ f21
shoes \ from this post

2.




this was like me waking up too late and listening to this song a lot.

tommy hilfiger golf shirt \ thrifted
mom jeans \ UO
shoes \ thrifted

3.



i'm proud of this outfit because layers, and these colors relaxed me a lot, which is good because of the aforementioned first-week-stress.

t-shirt \ thrifted
net tank top \ express
skirt \ marshalls
shoes \ childhood

4.



sweater \ f21
skirt \ childhood
mom jeans \ f21
reeboks \ thrifted


hey- basically the same outfit i wore in some oldblue posts, sorry.

i hope school is going killer for you guys, and i wanna hear allllllll about it (along with what you thought of these outfits).

-=-

kanyinsola 

blue canary in the outlet by the light switch

I'm doing a lot of independent work this year and it's letting me grow and work at my own pace, which is nice because it gives me just enough time to think about everything. I still don't get home on time to take pictures of my outfits before the sun sets, so I've been postponing writing something until I had a chance to do that, but I think I'll just go ahead and do this anyway.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about 'nature theory'- like the idea that because you as a human are part of nature and the world as a whole, and "whether or not it is clear to you, the universe is unfolding as it should". I had a really nice September because everything felt connected. This isn't the best example but it's the only one I can remember: when I read ''for colored girls who have considered suicide" and there was an entire poem about Toussaint L'Overture in it and then I learned about him in History- or when I was was studying Carolignian England and then I found an essay about feminism in the Carolignian era while doing research for a biology project. Those sound like incredibly mundane events- but at the time it felt kind of electrical- like everything was coming together and I was putting together some sort of puzzle about my life. 

I think nature theory has a lot to do with self love/acceptance and finding a balance between giving yourself power over your life and accepting the fact that you have no power to stop life from happening to you. The pictures do a better job at explaining it than I can- so...

--

photos, top to bottom:
1+2- FKA Twigs by Charlie Engman for The Fader // 3- Ayesha McMahon by Nadine Ijewere // 4- Dangerous Angels by Alyssa Yohanna for Rookie // 5-- Quote via; Background photo via // 6- Untitled from How to Disappear by Moki Mioke // 7- Commes Des Garcons SS 1995 ad // 8- Into The Trees by Rose Lichter-Marck for Rookie // 10-11  Stoker (2013) // 12- by Juan Abelle // 13- Cocoon for Vogue Deutsch (September 2013) // 14- Thinking About Death (1907) by Frida Kahlo // 15- Background via

-=-

kanyinsola