Monday, June 30, 2014

blazing summer cold coffee

i've been listening to this song a lot recently and it fits a lot with the aesthetic of this post and is really calming
so you guys should listen to it while reading this for max coolness (and maybe listen to it again if you like it to appreciate the genius of the lyrics that seem like they started out as poetry)

Artist Moved To Despair by The Grandeur of Antique Fragments by Henry Fuseli.

I'm not really sure why but there's something weirdly fascinating about art being beautiful enough to make someone so emotional. It probably has to do with art being a reflection of human emotions that most of us can't really express and we're so shocked when we see something that simply conveys the way we feel. (i refuse to proofread that sentence because i'm so confident in the fact that all of my thoughts make some sort of sense)(but actually- did that make any sort of sense?)

Prada fw 2010 (via

very strong Grandma Jetson vibes

marc jacobs fall 2010


jonathon saunders menswear


untitled by Sophie Van der Perre on Flickr.

untitled by sophie van der perre (flickr)

i was so inspired by all this that i got off my lazy butt to take some outfit photos!

weird brown vibeimage


weird brown vibe
*closeup of the neck situation* 

the main reason why i chose to wear that dress is because of the neckline that
 kind of folds over itself like some sort of turtleneckscarf but also like
the boa constrictor i keep that gives me my warmth and eternal youth (i'm actually in my 70s)  

sweater: unknown (i'm such a mess that i just discovered this inside my hovel/bedroom)
brown polka dot dress: childhood
mesh dress worn underneath: thrifted

weird brown vibe

weird brown vibe
weird brown vibe

sweater: Marshalls
red patterned shirt (underneath): childhood
jeans: thrifted
mesh dress (same as above)

i am madly deeply in love with the mesh dress if you couldn't already tell and i'm probably going to wear it everywhere everyday for the rest of my life (with small alterations to hold the broken hearts i'll collect throughout my life- of course) *din in sound as the audience faints collectively at my wit and charm* but it will definitely be featured in future outfit photos. The only thing I really need is a nice (read: cheap) black dress to wear underneath the mesh, so if you've seen one, let me know.

did you guys like the song or the outfits and do you have any recommended jamz that are on the same vibe as "coffee"?


Thursday, June 26, 2014

chunnel (old vibes, old poetry)

---stuff i wrote a while ago but never published because BBC America distractions. ---

. weird light brown
. deserts
. insects
. dramatically cut hair
. change
. haze
. wes anderson movies
. animosity


i knew from the moment that you left
i would have to fall in love with
the dust you left behind
from the living ghosts in your eyes
fingerprints waxing and waning


your presence was a whisper
that left me feeling like a thunderstorm
to this day my hands are cold from the storm
i am shaking
i am shaking
i am shaking
i am shaking
and though i can still feel you
slipping through the lines
that weren't there
5 years ago
my bones cracking from the weight of you and me


5 years from now 
i will see you like a rose in the fall
i will forget my reflection in the sunset
and remember how to find it in the glass
i want to hear glass break
am i still beautiful
if i forget to check in the morning


skipping work and lunch and people and breathing and homes and houses and hands and holding
to water you through 
the winter
i will see you
fall in love again
and forget that winter comes every year
i can make it through this one
if i remember the day
you breathed  life into my lungs
like fire
but called it  love
i can forget
the third degree burns 
surgeon general warning
i can stay afloat in a desert


if i forget that once upon a time
in a land far far away
i had fingertips 
i won't long for the 
touch of
hand holding hand combat


my tomorrow 
is a straight line staring down at me
i will long for tomorrows
and days afters
and days afters
and days afters
and for the thought of 
springs in the never-ending winter


i will pull myself together
remake my suit of amore
out of gravel and bent
like wire hangers teetering unsure
hands gripping tables 
sitting on the edge
to find a sense of balance, i have to remind myself
that it's the entire world spinning slowly spinning out of control
and not just me


you wlil speak flowers and poetry into hope shaped crevices
to calm the tide inside me
and i will confuse a single star for the night sky

so, what do you guys think of my **poetry** (i'm trying to write a lot more this summer) and comment if you'd like to see more or some slam poetry and constructive criticism would be cool (woahhh alliteration- is this a third grade english project or wut??). also- there's a poll in the sidebar about the ~future~ of this blog that you should really check out

* none of the photos in this post are mine and i will probably get around to sourcing them eventually sorry. 

Saturday, June 21, 2014

strange magick

i'm feeling very ~witchy~ in celebration of the summer solstice (longest day and shortest night of the year) and thought i'd make a short post for a playlist:

and also the literal personification of magic:

via live performance of "gold dust woman"

*imagine an infinite array of heart eye emojis here*

so yeah, enjoy your solstice by dancing in the sunset and arranging some twigs around your head and setting some stuff on fire while pretending to hold the sun in your hands (that's what we can assume people do on the solstice according to this)!

Thursday, June 19, 2014

they want you to be easy for them to understand- but you - you internet- you are large, you contain multitudes

right now i'm at that point in my google chrome existence where it take 8 minutes to load a webpage because i've developed an emotional attachment to all of the tabs i have open and bookmarking them would just add to a list that is already miles long. so i thought i'd post them here, both for future reference and so that you can share in the stress wealth that comes with the internet.
courtney love

i am a biggg fan of courtney love and hole and everything she breathes basically (i love courtney love?) i almost exploded after the news of her beautiful comeback earlier this year- but I really exploded when i saw:

. this trailer for a short, bizarrely beautiful remake of Valley of the Dolls starring COURTNEY LOVE, lindsay lohan, miley cyrus and chloe sevigny, and paula deen called... Valley of the Doll Parts. your life will be forever changed. 

. an interview on with Courtney in which she talks about cheese, Hole and fashion (!!) and contradicts herself (as in, a lot) but it's Courtney Love so the entire interview is crazy stupid cool beautiful- just read it. 

lana del rey

. Lana Del Rey's Ultraviolet album which was released on Friday. The album is good and has a distinct sound but I can't talk much about it because there's so much going on that I'm confused about: possible romanticizing of of domestic violence, lana's denouncement of feminism (my current thoughts are super conflicted and sound a bit like: ASCAGHDRHUYTVKLIZSFBR) but instead here are some articles from people who seem to know what they're talking about:

(TW for rape in A Clockwork Orange / domestic violence) Album Review (Consequence of Sound)

(TW for domestic violence) Does Lana Del Rey's New Song Glorify Domestic Violence? (TIME)

if you have any idea what you think of all this (or even if you don't) please let me know in the comments. 

company digital festival

If you're like me and possibly will never be able to afford tickets to a music festival until you're the ripe old age of 30 (SARCASM), and you've already accepted your fate as a perpetual hermit- then rejoice at the Company Magazine Digital Festival. Company is hosting an online festival that you can watch right. from. your. couch. I don't know many of the bands (The Vamps, Charli XCX, John Newman) - but I'm still pretty excited. 

cultural appropriation

interesting article by Refinery 29 about cultural appropriation that covers all the bases (what it is, why it's a problem, what we can do to change it etc)

bib and tuck's beautiful new Youtube special with Jilly Hendrix asking New York fashuneestas about clothes, money, and dreams. i recommend ruthie and arabelle's- but they're so short that watching them all one after another will just make your life happier. 

archy marshall's musings on his hometown + beautifully shot photos = tru luv


a random picture of david bowie and edie sedgwick  i found on tumblr that makes me so so happy and i truly want you guys to feel as positive as i am now <3<3 (those hearts are a semi-accurate representation of my life right now and it's so very good)


Monday, June 16, 2014

a hundred jewels on throats

if you read none of this weird rant, please read the bold part:

//note// it recently came up on the 1st birthday of this blog (woohoo) and when I realized it I felt kind of shaken  because I don't think I've accomplished as much with this as I'd hoped to by this time. and then i realized that i feel that way because

. time is mind b(l)oggingly finite (hahaha) and i suck at prioritizing -- I'll work on it.  

. i tend to assume that if i can't create something that meets up to a set of arbitrary standards - then i can't create anything at all; this means literally hundreds of ideas and poems AND BLOG POSTS that I've tossed because i thought they weren't good enough -  not recognizing the fact that i could actually learn from them, that perfection is far from instant (i sound like a guidance counselor but sometimes those people know what they're talking about.)  basically what i'm saying is that right now i'm trying harder to accept the fact that anythingeverything is a process and it's super cliche but everything i make has value even if it's just in pushing me to create something better: art is evolutionary also, growth requires introspection (ie if you fail horribly, trying again is almost useless if you don't recognize the circumstances of the failure) so yeah, hopefully that pans out into this blog as me growing as a person through trial and error as well as figuring out who/what i am (i've already ruled out cyborg prince)- because wasn't that the purpose of this blog in the first place? (the self-discovery, not the cyborg part).

. and also realizing what Eli at melodifairytale said about her blog and i will forever apply to mine:
"it's my self-controlled kingdom! my safe space!"

 . so i guess you could say these are some of the many lessons that this blog has taught me in a year (which is way more than i learned in economics)

anyway, to all the rad people who follow this blog and reads and comment, thank you for putting up with me for a whole year. 
. here's a little snippet of an outfit i wore a few days ago that is a bit like a more laid back version of what i've been into recently.

scarf diy
sweater childhood
sandals childhood


Art in Architecture in San Francisco - Toshio

1// Art in Architecture in San Francisco by Toshio (Flickr)

2// unknown via tumblr



3// Nozawa 2-32 by guen-k (Flickr)

4// Untitled Print by Elena Boils

5// Sky's the Limit by Maura Wolfson-Foster 

6// unknown via tumblr


concrete city on Flickr.
from a shoot i did that’s up on the pulp zine now

7// Concrete City by Rosalind Duguid (Flickr)

8// unknown via tumblr

9// cat ink plant (?) by eero lampinen

i guess: 
dark green + geometric patterns + black and white + palm-like plants

so basically this video: 


a hundred jewels on throats

what do you guys think of all this:

. do you like the photos?
. what's your opinion on lorde's music?
. do you know of any other clothes that kind of fit this vibe?


Sunday, June 15, 2014

quel temps est-il? l'ete! c'est nos vacances!

*puts on sunglasses and shorts* *jumps into ocean* *almost drowns* *swims out looking cooler than ever*


Here's a nostalgic picture of the High School Musical 2 poster - because my brain is now hardwired to associate summer with this movie. ( note the use of the word "nostalgic" to make it seem like I didn't just watch this movie yesterday. )

I would try to form a sentence about how happy I am right now- but I won't because I'm too busy not caring and exploding inside!

To be completely honest, the whole "summer freedom" thing is kind of jarring for me because I'm so used to being on a strict schedule that the idea of being able to do whatever I want whenever I want to is foreign enough for me to end up wasting the entire summer, sitting on the floor listening to Fleetwood Mac whilst thinking of a million cool things I could do, but will never actually.

*accepts crown as QUEEN of the run-on sentence*

so in no particular order, here's my summer list-
visit some vintage stores around my neighborhood

improve sewing skills

go to the museum (particulary the rene magritte exhibit)

stare at the sky a lot

read rimbaud in the grass

redecorate my room

listen to new music

draw / write something daily

go to a few open mic shows

learn to skateboard and fulfill my indiegarage rock destiny

learn some monologues

have a studio ghibli marathon

open an etsy

get reallyyy good at playing the harmonica

make funky-colored lipstick out of eyeshadow

get some new penpals to send junk to

go to circus camp for a week

volunteer at the library


blog more (!!!!)

i'd be really happy to add to this list, so feel free to let me know about any cool things that i can do in the comments section- particularly cool summer movies or tv shows.

and also, I hope everyone's summer is going great!

Thursday, June 5, 2014

my tiny heart grows three sizes today

quick update while in the proccess of live-blogging my life.

new chrome background 

(it should definitely be noted as Maria Lavender said in the comments section that I love this background but can't stand AA ...)

new gmail background 

new google picture

new blogger picture

which means I spend even more time than is nesseccary now staring into space and in general i'm re-forming my life aesthetic

I might have said this before but I think my Self is skyrocketing - by that I mean, I now spend more time happy than sad, mostly because I've spent a lot of time writing down these and thinking about these words:

1."In every nook and cranny, nature screams at the top of her lungs that nothing lasts, that it is all passing away. All that we see around us, including our own bodies, is shifting and evaporating and one day will be gone. Where are the one billion people who lived and breathed in the year 1800, only two short centuries ago?" - alan lightman

2. "We can't let ourselves be defined by who we were two years, two months, two days, or even two minutes ago- all that we are is now. - a.t.

3. "Work it out with words and don't try to compress it inside yourself like some kind of angst diamond" -g.b.

4. “If you love a flower that lives on a star, it is sweet to look at the sky at night. All the stars are a-bloom with flowers” - antoine de saint-exupery

and also, the school year is a just a week from being over and i'm exploding- i'll finally be able to make this blog seem like.... something, so get excited, and comment stuff that i should blog about!