let's live suddenly without thinking

 

                                                    

i took the ACT yesterday; i wanted to wear sweatpants because everyone wears sweatpants for standardized testing on saturdays, but i don't think i own a pair anymore, so i wore these blue jogger type things that are strangely comfortable. i wore that turtleneck BECAUSE I'M AN ARTIST and i wore a jacket because test centers are notoriously cold. i guess white shoes are for contrast or something. 

this outfit was very tired but i'm feeling increasingly aware of how fleeting everything is, and i want to record EVERYTHING and put it somewhere, so here we are. 

you can have a beautiful e.e. cummings poem to make up for it though: 

thank you!
kanyinsola 

chunnel (old vibes, old poetry)

---stuff i wrote a while ago but never published because BBC America distractions. ---

//
. weird light brown
. deserts
. insects
. dramatically cut hair
. change
. haze
. wes anderson movies
. animosity
--

001. 

i knew from the moment that you left

i would have to fall in love with

the dust you left behind

from the living ghosts in your eyes

fingerprints waxing and waning

 

002. 

your presence was a whisper

that left me feeling like a thunderstorm

to this day my hands are cold from the storm

i am shaking

i am shaking

i am shaking

i am shaking

and though i can still feel you

slipping through the lines

that weren't there

5 years ago

my bones cracking from the weight of you and me

003. 

5 years from now 

i will see you like a rose in the fall

i will forget my reflection in the sunset

and remember how to find it in the glass

i want to hear glass break

am i still beautiful

if i forget to check in the morning

004.

skipping work and lunch and people and breathing and homes and houses and hands and holding

to water you through 

the winter

i will see you

fall in love again

and forget that winter comes every year

i can make it through this one

if i remember the day

you breathed  life into my lungs

like fire

but called it  love

i can forget

the third degree burns 

surgeon general warning

i can stay afloat in a desert

005.

if i forget that once upon a time

in a land far far away

i had fingertips 

i won't long for the 

touch of

hand holding hand combat

006.

my tomorrow 

is a straight line staring down at me

i will long for tomorrows

and days afters

and days afters

and days afters

and for the thought of 

springs in the never-ending winter

007.

i will pull myself together

remake my suit of amore

out of gravel and bent

truths

like wire hangers teetering unsure

hands gripping tables 

sitting on the edge

to find a sense of balance, i have to remind myself

that it's the entire world spinning slowly spinning out of control

and not just me

008.

you wlil speak flowers and poetry into hope shaped crevices

to calm the tide inside me

and i will confuse a single star for the night sky

--

so, what do you guys think of my **poetry** (i'm trying to write a lot more this summer) and comment if you'd like to see more or some slam poetry and constructive criticism would be cool (woahhh alliteration- is this a third grade english project or wut??). also- there's a poll in the sidebar about the ~future~ of this blog that you should really check out

//

kanyinsola

* none of the photos in this post are mine and i will probably get around to sourcing them eventually sorry.