Wednesday, December 31, 2014

come on girl let's sneak out of this party

(derek jarman)

the new year is especially a thing for me right now because i'm really interested on the idea of beginnings. it's a tendency to want to start over- especially when things go wrong and it seems like the only way out is to scrap it. to destroy any remnants of what once was and creating something new.

i keep a list of beautiful words and phrases next to me when i'm writing, and one that keeps popping into my mind at random times is the phrase: "shedding layers". wanting to rid myself of excess baggage because i know that it's exactly what is holding me down. freeing myself.

i  try to find opportunities to start again every single day.  the past has always been the past- but it becomes something entirely new once I acknowledge that it no longer has to be a part of me.

i've been keeping a #agenda tag on my tumblr for the things i want to get a little closer to in 2015. i don't think that a year is enough for me to definitively accomplish all of them (for some of them, it seems like most people don't even have it all down after even a lifetime- it must be impossible); but i would like to try a little bit harder each day. also, i really like the idea of having a fluid list that i can add to throughout the entire year.


2k14 was pretty good to me. the first part all the way up to september (all of 7th grade)  was strange- and i see it as especially strange now that i'm more self-aware, and can tell how mind-numbingly irritating i must have been 1/2 the time haha. i'm kind-of, sort-of kidding. increased self-awareness has been great, but also, you know, terrible.

but after that (somewhere around the beginning of 8th grade)- it seemed like everything clicked into place. there's a strange sense of drive to create and to enjoy things with others. a feeling that a lot of things aren't as stressful as they seem; the realization that (no matter how much i complain) i love being busy and don't actually feel satisfied without something to do; the desire to spread positivity into the world that i'm pretty sure I owe to Shake It Off by Taylor Swift. I was shaking off the ennui in my life. It was good.


Primary Time, 1974 by Bas Jan Ader
(Primary Time, 1974 by Bas Jan Ader )

one of the biggest lessons i learned this year was definitely about taking opportunities. i went to a thrift store near my house this summer and saw this really cool jacket that i wanted, but was afraid to get for some reason. when i went back the next time to get it- it was gone. i was incredibly mad at myself for letting it slip past me like that.

i know it sounds miniscule, but when played against my soundtrack that summer of There's More to Life Than This by Bjork and Christian Dior by Morrissey (both songs about how life will pass you by if you don't pay enough attention)-- it felt life-changing. it was a sign that if i want something badly enough i have to take it. it's the philosophy of staying hungry- something i have to work on a lot.

at the end of 2014, i kind of found myself on a roll where i started reading only really amazing, beautiful books (in no particular order):

1. the woman warrior: maxine hong kingston
2. for colored girls who have considered suicide / when the rainbow is enuf: ntozake shange
3. the communist manifesto: karl marx*
4. nadja: andre breton*
5. weetzie bat (re-read): francesca lia block
6. a raisin in the sun: lorraine hansberry
7. to kill a mockingbird: harper lee
8. extremely loud and incredibly close: jonathan safran foer
9. woman in front of the sun: judith ortiz cofer
10. beloved: toni morrisson*
11. grandmothers: Nikki Giovanni*
12. fahrenheit 451: ray bradbury*

(* means that I started reading it but I got distracted by something, or overwhelmed with work and I had to stop, but then I started another book anyway. this is one of those habits that I really want to break in 2015.)

there's also this interview i can't stop thinking about that i saw online a couple of weeks ago; i can't remember which designer was being interviewed but they answered every single question the same way and it went something like:

what are your goals for the future?
to continue!

what are you focusing on right now?

do you have any advice for the next generation?

ETA (1/11/2015): It turns out that the interview was actually with Martin Margiela for i-D April 1998. I feel ridiculous because it was actually on my agenda tag, but my tumblr theme was messing up and I couldn't see any posts that far back. 

Martin Margiela, i-D April 1998

when i read it i wanted to write "CONTINUE" in permanent marker on every surface around me. i wish i could remember more about it or even just get to read the entire interview, (if anyone has any idea what it was, please let me know), but either way, i'm hearing the message LOUD N CLEAR.

I think 2015 is also going to be about me coming to terms with my idiosyncrasies, learning more about myself because i feel like i'm a fairly complex person and I need to unravel all of that sometime soon.

and because this is a fashion blog, here's the last outfit picture of 2014:


polka dot dress / gift
button-up shirt (backwards)/ dad's closet
mom jeans (inside out) UO
reeboks / thrifted
see you on the other side.


Thursday, December 25, 2014

you've applied the pressure, to keep me crystalised

[issue 1 of pure magazine is a really interesting discussion of minimalism]

i'm definitely not a minimalist. i love clutter and i love noise (i don't like capitalism but still...). that doesn't make me incapable of appreciating that there is something interesting about using the ideas of limits and satisfaction to govern your life.

i think the greatest appeal of minimalism is having a clear distinction between what you want and what you need. because once that line is gone, it starts to feel like you need everything. i've been trying to carve out more time in my life for the things that i actually enjoy doing, instead of the mindless tasks that i feel like i have to do. adopting a more minimalist lifestyle could definitely help with this: i wouldn't have to check as many e-mails or clean out as much junk from my room.

 i could go on for hours about how great it would be if i could get rid of everything that wasn't vital to my existence- but we both know i would never actually go through with it haha. i'm pretty sure that even if i were to give away of all my clothes that weren't #normcore (for example lol), in a few weeks i would hate dressing like a 46-year old dad and would want to only class patterns and colors like Solange.

as a general stereotype, minimalism in fashion translates directly to an image of neutral colors, clean lines, geometric shapes etc. of course minimalist fashion can also exist within the concepts of deconstructing and distorting clothing (in a way that ignores the conventional form of the body), so it becomes minimalist as in, abandoning all other influences; but i'll probably talk more about that another time.

right now i want to focus on the image of minimalism that's kind of monochrome and structured in some of the more recent shows:

i'm really into the drop-waist dress on the left and then the enveloping layers of trench coat. and the positioning of the white jacket made the skirt look kind of like a peplum.


this left is like a nouveau turtleneck from jil sander, the queen of turtlenecks, and i really hope that neckline becomes a huge trend next year and trickles down to the retail end. the dress on the right is like a mod shift dress but it looks simultaneously more futuristic and more classic. i think i want all of these clothes??


the shapes and random flaps are so cool- it kind of reminds me of something jacquemus would do. the skirt-suit looks really rigid and is the type of thing i would kill to recreate somehow. and the cut for the shirt on the left is e x c e l l e n t. can you imagine having a classic white shirt or whatever- but with that fold on there?


i really love the slight color contrast with the straps and flaps on the left, and then the texture and shape contrast of the black one with boxy leather against the silkyness/slinkyness of the pants

wowwow all of this talk about minimalism is making me
a. see this type of minimalism as a re-creation of previous themes or trends (turtlenecks, peplums etc), but using new, creative cuts and shapes
b. imagine a cross-over banksy/what the fashion! type meme where Ivania Carpio* destroys public buildings and department stores "FOR MINIMALISM"

that's all for now; i hope everyone has a happy december 25th, 26th, 27th, 28th ....


* Ivania, if you're reading this i love u and i apologize for using your name in a B+ (at best) attempt at humor!

[christophe lemaire ss 2015 // jil sander aw 2014 // calvin klein ss 2014 // helmut lang ss 2014]

Monday, December 22, 2014

i got to fold because these hands are just too shaky to hold

winter always makes me crave warmth, like i'm not sure why; it definitely has something to do with wanting something that's really far away in the physical sense, but also in the sense of
1. safety
2. closeness

i tend to form really strong emotional attachments to people and things during the winter-time and then i start to fixate on having those things around me for a sort of stability. having a set routine. when things happen according to plan- i feel warm as in cozy and balanced.

the past few weeks have been v mixed for me: what happened in Ferguson and what's happening everywhere makes me sick and i think about it every day and it is terrifying and overwhelming. but at the same time- warm is the only way to describe the feeling i get from thinking about the people standing up for freedom, and the fact that people are finally paying attention to them.

links to petitions, donation master-posts, and information on ferguson

sweater / thrifted
skirt / marshall's 
tights / walgreens 
shoes / childhood

i wore this outfit a few weeks ago when it was a little warmer outside, and I wish it was nice outside again so I could wear it all the time because it's really simple and comfortable- and nowadays i just wake up and have no idea what to wear and feel completely uninspired and end up wearing something bLeRgH to match the weather ha.

this winter, i'm really yearning for a beautiful, warm coat: something in pastel or neutral with cool color-blocking/paneling and a loose silhouette. i feel like if you have a beautiful coat on- it adds a type of subtlety to your entire self.


honestly, owning one of these Hermes coats is *the* goal when I get older and want to become a werqing gurl because it vaguely reminds me of a 90s power-suit, but also seems to be elegant and huge and flowing enough to shield me from "adult responsibilities" or whatever that means.

recently i've also been feeling that winter is a really good time for crying: not always out of sadness, but sometimes just for emotional release. so i made this playlist called :cry: (the text form of the crying emoji)

1: autre ne veut is literally crying as he sings one of the verses 2: about the importance and comfort of crying 3: being dissatisfied w life atm  4: kind of a lost love story 5: wanting to curl up inside of yourself 6: forgetting 7: wanting/needing/craving something out of your reach 8: sometimes people need other people 9: a-loneliness 10: advice for sad times 11: it's fiona apple 

if you're looking for something cool to get me to tide me over the long days i'm gonna spend indoors this winter: gone home the video game came out last august and i'm still freaking out. gone home is a first person narrative set in 1994, with the player as Kaitlin Greenbrier- who comes home after a year abroad to discover her family home deserted, and has to solve the mystery of what happened. last year i was obsessed because i was so into the riot grrrl aspects of this game. and even though i no longer feel a lot of allegiance to 90s feminism, i still appreciate that's it's a game with a plot that's so spooky and sensitive, and incredible attention to detail in the graphics.




and while we're on the subject, what do you guys want/need for survival during the winter?


[ calvin klein aw 14 // jil sander aw 07 // calvin klein aw 07 // dkny aw 14 // creatures of comfort aw 14 // 3.1 phillip lim aw 14 // hermes aw 14 ]

Friday, November 28, 2014

you found the sweater on the ocean floor

i used lyrics from cousins by vw for my title because i feel like the fast-pace of the song reflects the recent jump in my productivity haha.

so... i thought it would be cool if i gave you guys an update on the art stuff i've been doing in the past few months and then you gave me some feedback on what you thought of it because that's what the internet is for??? aside from cats obviously.

over the summer i decided to submit some of my writing to a few zines:

in girls get busy zine issue #22 here

 in cherry zine issue #5 here (you might have to open it up in a new link to read it bc it's so blurry from the file format. and if you really want to read it- it's on page 47 of the zine.)

i don't love the photos i took to accompany this poem and i really just took them to test myself and see if i could do it but i am really happy they got published:

in lozenge mag issue #3 here

i strongly recommend reading through these zines because they are full of creative, intelligent, super cool people. 

all the writing i did above feels really 7th grade to me (because technically i was still in 7th grade when i wrote them) but it's kind of hard to look at it objectively when it's basically a part of you- so i'd really love to hear what you think about it.
the next two things also happened over the summer and were weird for me because i kind of assumed i would only ever be good at writing so i was really wary of trying out different things- and i was just doing it as a sort of experiment. 

photo of some tennis courts in the suburbs that turned out kind of cool

made using ms paint 

my favorite thing about all of those is the color: the blue and weird shade of red in the first, and then the gradient in the second one. it was v cool to see that other people enjoyed it and reblogged it and stuff 

then these are some of my more recent entries from my new journal- i kind of like that they have no specified theme, unlike the things i used to make, because it gives you a lot more freedom. also they're kind of a shift from my old busier collage stuff and i'm really liking it even though it all looks/feels to me, kind of rough and hurried and i'm pretty sure i've spilled coffee on everything:

v quik sketch

playbill from a show about rob rauschenberg that i saw with my friend. i loved the play because it was set in 1930s america, and they passed out food from that era (kool aid, processed cheese slices, pizza, candy) to kind of make us feel like we were in that era and it was really cool.

attempting to collage again


(sweater / marshall's)

i'm taking a fashion class at school this year and i made this skirt for my first show (i feel pretentious and weird saying that but whatever). the skirt looks a little weird on me because i took this photo in a rush so i didn't put it on correctly and it's also kind of wrinkled. (if it's not clear, the thing at the bottom is like a slit/flap).

my favorite thing about the skirt is probably the fabric which is blue-green with multicolored thread running through it:

 the fact that sharing art feels like both narcissism because "LOOK AT ME I MADE SOMETHING" but also full of self doubt because "omg is anyone going to ever like this thing i made?" is probably what scares me most about it. what do you guys think about all of the art? Also, if you wanna, you can link to some of YOUR stuff in the comments because i love reading/seeing what you smart, creative people have to say!


i'm super excited to say that i'm a staff writer for a really cool magazine called speak easy- we're launching december 1st- and you should follow us on instagram (@speakeasyzine) for more updates, in addition to submitting: (!


ps-  sorry for saying "really cool" 30 times <3

Thursday, November 6, 2014

as the sun's shining down ... spring rains fill the vast plain

carrizo plain / gardens & villa

Looking up at the sky is one of the many signs that I am almost insignificant - I do enjoy feeling like the center of the universe, but waiting for life to pass you rushes straight to your brain until everything you do is insignificant- nor for the sake of nihilism, but for the sake of doing what makes you happy while you have the chance to be alive because it has no real impact. not only are you insignificant, but so is fear, so is loathing- if nothing means anything in the grand scheme, then why fill yourself up with unhappiness. 

Looking up at the sky makes me feel surreal- I can't possibly be alive if this is changing colors and raining on nations as I'm looking up at it. I'm in the middle of reading the first surrealist novel: Nadja by Andre Breton. The beginning is very dense and kind of mundane and I'm patiently waiting for the plot to reveal itself to me.

About to leave her, I want to ask one question which sums up all the rest, a question which only I would ever ask, probably, but which has at least once found a reply worthy of it: "Who are you?" And she, without a moment's hesitation: "I am the soul in limbo" 

the lisbon girls are surreal because they just did not make sense and i think that surrealism is somehow tied to contradiction it has to be too complex to be understood by a direct method/

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a denim jacket i tried to bleach; it didn't really work but it looks a bit like the sky now

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the sky a few days ago

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time transfixed from a recent visit to the art institute

Magritte is one of my favorite surrealists- maybe because he uses the sky so often- and I was really happy when Opening Ceremony came out with a Magritte-inspired collection, and described it as "wearable art".

sheherazade dress

sheherazade sneakers

double reality

the king'ss museum coat

good connections top

the blow to the heart sweater

la cascade bomber jacket

ladder of fire sweater

I really loved the constant references to the lovers and how the photographer used blue and white and shadows to kind of mask/distort the models' bodies. I would say the stuff inspired by sheherazade is my favorite because I really like how detailed and vivid it is- and I also love the shape of the good connections outfit.

the fabric covering the heads of the models is also kind of reminding me of a combination of commes des garcons (for the almost-grotesque and the white) and a margiela mask.

cdg ss2013 via 

mmm fw2013 via

What do you guys think of all this-the art and the clothes- and (if you’d like to share) how were your days today?


Opening Ceremony Photos via