poetry, beauty, romance, love (and thoughts)

i've been in and out of the draft stages of a post re: thoughts on sadness and anger and death and goodbyes and how badly things have been going in the past days/weeks/months/year a ridiculous amount of times and i've finally decided that the actual important thing i've been trying to get out is a rest in peace to everyone who's passed. i feel like i don't have anything particularly new to say (even though everything is so important) but i am very angry and confused and tired.

also: this is a link to a memorial fund for michael brown (which is confirmed to be run by the Brown family) - even though i would assume most of you are teenage girls but i really think it should be out there.

and a petition to launch a full investigation into the shooting. 

i did actually write a post on robin williams but it was confused and confusing:

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i'm writing this post finishing a recovery from a migraine and thinking about death and how futile but radically important it is to say "goodbye" and robin williams and lauren bacall and crying and not crying 

 and how i've been thinking ever since i was young(er) that your embarassingly fragile body should never be the only thing that protects the soul that belongs not only to you, but to everyone who knew you (and how stupid that sounded but i said it anyway)

 and how strange it is feeling like the loss of someone i never really met is like the loss of something inside me.

and that people who seem to be made of nothing but love and happiness that they give so willingly to others could be so sad inside

but i've also been thinking about how everything i really love is a reflection of some part of my self so it's obvious that robin williams' words and kindness and everything beautiful about him probably played some part in my personal development that i'm forever grateful for.

eta: and this quote from robin williams which changes not much, but perspective:

“I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.”

no matter how sad i am that robin williams is gone- someone who always seemed like one of the world's  perpetual-big-brother or something, felt like it was all too much to live with; i'm even happier that he lived, that he gave something to the world in the genie and mrs.doubtfire and now i'm kind of too sad to talk some more so i'll link to anOther magazine's "Robin Williams: in his own words"

rest in peace.
(goodbye genie)



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